I’ve been feeling stuck lately.
Creatively stuck but not in the way I typically feel stuck. Usually when I’m up against a creative wall it’s due to a lack of energy because there is too much else going on in life. I start feeling overscheduled, overwhelmed and drained which eventually reflects on my artistic/creative side. I hope that anyone who has ever done anything creatively can understand this. There are just times where creativity wanes. For me, once I get my feet under me again…I get a second wind, a creative spurt. I feel like my creativity does this roller coaster cycling thing.
I don’t like this. Not one bit. I’d much rather have my all-consuming creative-spirit faithfully by my side at all times. Although I would probably never get any “real work” done if this were the case.
However, this time my “stuck” feeling is different. It’s more global than just feeling tired, exhausted, uninspired. No…that’s not it at all. As I near the 1 year anniversary of this blog, I’ve been preparing a “Year In Review” post. I wanted to look back and reflect on the last year both personally and creatively.
Personally I feel very fulfilled. This has been a big year.
Creatively I feel a little let-down. Yes I’ve had some successes & have been able to take some nice pictures & capture some great moments in other people’s and my own life. But from a photography stand point, I like to be able to balance portrait work & my more artistic photos. I’ve lost the balance this year. It has tipped completely to focusing on portraiture. Which has helped me to grow in significant ways, and as I said before this has allowed me the honor of capturing some very important life events. I feel I’ve been successful on the portraiture side. And I LOVE taking pictures of people.
I feel I’ve let down my artistic side. I feel like it’s screaming inside of me to do something more. To take bigger risks. To get back to the “alternative processes” that first grabbed my attention in the world of photography.
I’m working on un-sticking myself. Rediscovering my love of the unusual. The non-traditional. The uniquely-me side that was my first photography love. I want to make my photography better balanced. The portraiture work for me is like a trusty pair of faded blue jeans. Comfortable. A go-to item. Something you could enjoy everyday. The artistic work is like a slinky black dress. Exciting & fresh. Slightly unexpected. And as a girl who has never listened to the word no…ever…I want it all.
For this reason…I’m getting out my trusty 35mm film SLR again & it’s back to the creative drawing board.